Mingling - Punishment or Reward?

I truly hate making small talk or mingling with people I don't know. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel anxiety and pressure when put into those situations.

The problem is that with my job, I often find myself in those very situations. I also work with several people who excel at this and believe that everyone must love it as much as they do.

So, since I'm expected to enjoy this type of stuff, I have had to find ways to work around it so I can actually succeed at making small talk. The first thing I do is think about the types of people I will be in the situation with. What are their interests? Then I think about what the purpose of my small talk is. For example, is this is a work-related situation, or do I have a goal to glean information that is critical for a project I am working on? Last, I think about how I want to be perceived. Do I want to come across as knowledgeable? Or even just one of the guys?

All of these thoughts help me feel more comfortable going into the situation. I feel prepared for what I am going into and I typically have a short list of discussion topics that I can pull out when things get uncomfortably quiet.

Still, I tried my darndest to avoid being in these types of situations. Even if it means that I'll miss out on something that might be fun or interesting. I'd much rather stick to my quiet environment where no one knows who I am.