Life in the Slow Lane

Life has been very quiet lately. I think it is because I have an empty house right now. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without the dog to talk to. I finally understand why there are crazy cat ladies in the world!

I’m happy that I have other things going on in my life to help occupy my time. But, I’m realizing rather quickly, after only 2 weeks of Caleb not being in the house, that I’m going to need to find even more things to do. Otherwise, I might go crazy when he eventually does leave the house.

It isn’t that I don’t have cleaning and other home improvement projects to work on at home. But, sometimes that just doesn’t fulfill me like other things do. While I enjoy a clean kitchen just as much as the next person, the process itself doesn’t necessarily fill me up with joy. In fact, I’d much rather pay someone else to do the cleaning so I can enjoy that instead.

Life isn’t over when our teenagers leave the house. In fact, life is really just taking off. I am excited by the new adventures that are waiting me. I’m planning in my head all the great things I can undertake just for me instead of always putting my child first in my decisions.

I think my dissatisfaction right now is just because my life is in limbo as I wait decisions on Caleb throughout the next couple of months. It is difficult to start an exciting new adventure when so much other stuff is up in the air.

For now, though, I’m going to continue talking to my dog like he truly understands what I’m saying. I’ll continue to be obsessive about making sure my phone is on and in reach in case Caleb calls. I’ll continue to put off my plans for my exciting new adventures for a bit longer. I’ll continue to go to bed at 9pm not because I’m tired, but because I’m so bored that I have nothing else to do. I’m happy with this plan for now, but recognize that it definitely cannot be a long term solution.