Before they can be men, they must be boys...

When I found out that I was pregnant, I was very nervous and excited about having a baby. I know, it was a rough time for me to be expecting, but I knew deep down inside that this was right for me. I never considered adoption or terminating the pregnancy. I honestly don’t even remember talking these options through with anyone. I knew I wanted to have a baby and that I was ready – even though I had a lot stacked against me.

I found out as soon as I could that I was going to have a baby boy. I grew up with only one male in my family, so I wasn’t sure that I was too happy about this. Honestly, who did I think I was to raise a son all by myself? This was the first time that I was truly scared about raising a child on my own.


When Caleb was born, that all changed. In fact, looking back, I don’t know what I was so worried about. Afterall, a boy is just a boy, right? He is still a human with basic needs to be met and feelings just like us girls. I knew I was going to be fine. Granted, it took a little bit of time for me to get used to the gross, smelly stuff that surrounds little boys. The first time I found a dead worm in his pocket, I thought I was going to pass out. But, I found myself actually enjoying raising a son.


As he got older, the differences between boys and girls became a lot more apparent. And, no, I’m not talking about the physical differences. While Caleb has always been a caring person, he hasn’t always shared his emotions so freely. This was hard for me. Remember, I grew up in a household with 2 emotional sisters & we were NEVER afraid to tell each other how we were feeling!


When Caleb entered into his teenage years, I began to get scared again. Who was I to think that I could raise a young man? How could I, as a woman, teach him to be strong and to reach out for all that he dreams about? I knew I could instill the respect that he needed to have for women, but how would I teach him to be comfortable stepping outside his comfort zone to talk to a girl??


Young men are very different from young women. They have different things going on in their brains (other than what we tend to assume they are thinking about). I’m starting to learn that my son doesn’t always want to talk about how he feels or even share that with me. I’m learning that he wants to be alone at times with his feelings and when he is ready to talk to me, he will come find me. I’m also learning that I can’t push him to talk to me just because I have the need, as a woman, to talk. Being his mom doesn’t give me the right to know every little thing that he is feeling. This is hard for me, maybe the hardest thing I have had to figure out as a single mom. I know that I don’t always remember this or get it right, but I’ll continue to try.

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